Stupidy of Mankind 7-20-04
By: Todd

Stu-pid-i-ty, n., pl, -ties. 1. the state, quality, or fact of being stupid.

Stupidity is such a complex word. I mean, it’s not just being stupid; instead, it’s the state, quality, or fact of being stupid. Wow, so deep and so profound. You know what? It is so amazing how much stupidity mankind displays. I have lately been finding my jaw dropping to the floor at some of the things that I see and hear. Stupidity pretty much just makes me mad. A few years ago there were these bumper stickers that said “mean people suck” on them. Well, on the way to the Ocoee River with my high school youth group, we passed a car that had the “mean” portion of the bumper sticker cut out, so it read “people suck.” At first I was rather offended by this; however, after pondering that complex phrase, I started to realize the truth in this blundering. People just absolutely make me mad. So you think I’m bitter now, huh? Well I have news for you…..I AM BITTER, OKAY? So get off my back.

I keep hearing all this about “drama.” At first, I just thought that this really good drama troupe was performing around town. When I found out that it was just a code word for people having relationship problems, I was so disappointed. In fact, this was a rather good example of the stupidity of mankind. Drama has to do with acting, yet relationships are usually rather real. So are these people putting on plays for everyone with their relationships? If they are, sell me a ticket and pop me some popcorn. NO, I don’t want to see it, or hear about it, so if I hear one more girl talk about “drama” before class, I think I’m going to snap.

Okay, so are you enlightened enough on the stupidity? Well in case you’re not, here’s the top 5 stupid things about humanity as I know it.

5 – annoying voices – You can hear these at an assortment of places. If you go turn on the radio, you’ll probably hear one. All the “rock” stations play these stupid bands that all have the same annoying whiner voices. It all started with Blink 182, and followed with every other punk rock bands. I’m sick of them. Another place is just about any college classroom. There’s at least one girl in there that will be talking as loud as possible and at the highest octave possible. These voices just make me want to lash out at them and tell them how much detriment they’re having on society.

4 – arguers – WOW! You know those people who would argue with a light pole about what color it was? Yeah, those people make me very mad. No matter what you say and how much proof you give them that they’re flat out wrong, they’ll still argue with you. Just shut up and accept the fact that you’re wrong!

3 – clichés – This probably defines the word stupidity. If you have to use a cliché to get a “profound” point across, you need to be on permanent talking restriction. I grew up around phrases like, “what goes around comes around” and “you can’t always get what you want.” I seriously cringe every time I hear a cliché used. It flat out sickens me. I just want to shake the person that utters the nonsense and ask them if they realize how really stupid they sound. Okay, I’m getting to worked up over this one, on to #2….

2 – people that stress out – Man, you talk about something contagious. Stress is very contagious and I want no part of it. When I’m around people that stress out, I just flat out get angry. I can’t stand it when people say, “I’m so stressed about this test, blah blah blah…” I don’t want to hear it. I’ve recently been accepted to pharmacy school and even though I realize that this is a big deal and I have a great responsibility to do well in school so I can provide quality health care to those in need of it, I do not want to hear about school outside of class or the library. When I am not studying, I don’t want to hear about how hard a test was. Please, just relax and take a break. Some people obviously do not know how to do this. They don’t know how to have a conversation about anything but school and that’s just no way to go through college. How bout discussing something a little bit more important or even a little more relaxing? I just do not want to be talking about chemistry reactions all day long when I do not have to. No offense to glycolysis or anything, but reactions have no personality. I do not want to be known as the stooge with no personality. I’d much rather be known as the angry guy than the guy that was tragically born without a personality!

1 – bad drivers – There is no doubt that bad drivers are the epitome of the stupidity of mankind. There is nothing worse than getting behind a tag that has 43 or 46 as the first two letters. (Oh wait, yes there is, but I’ll get to that in a moment) I have the pleasure to live in a very peaceful place in between the Auburn and Loachapoka city limits. The drive to campus, however, is not quite as peaceful. Highway 14 is the road that I use to drive into campus. It is a strait 2 lane road that I have to drive about 7 miles on before I turn. The speed limit on this road is 55 MPH. However, I think there is an unspoken law in the county that you MUST go 40 miles per hour on this road. Not only this, but there is double lines the whole way to campus, so it is nearly impossible to pass these people. I don’t guess they have to be in that big of a hurry to get anywhere, but I know one thing, I do because I want to have a career one day unlike them. These people should get tickets for just being bad drivers. The only people that somewhat rivals these locals in the lack of driving skills are college girls on cell phones. When I see a girl on a cell phone, my eyes do not leave their vehicle until they are safely 200 feet away from me. There is nothing more frightening than seeing a girl having one hand securely fastened to her phone which is stuck to her ear and the other hand flailing in the air at the imaginary person in front of her while she is driving. How in the world can she drive? I know for a fact that women’s minds are quite complex. This means that they need to focus all the energy of their brain that is not filled up on driving. When they add a cell phone to the equation, you can forget about their brain functioning on driving. Nope, it’s all on that conversation, and I can really just see myself having to step out of my vehicle and flail my arm at a real person when she hits me.

Sorry I’m such a grinch, but humans make me mad….