Having a week and a half off is the most time our boys have had to get healthy and prepare for a game since the first game of the season. Needless to say, we still aren’t healthy, but if we get past this game against a struggling West Virginia team, we’ll have ANOTHER week and a half to prepare for Ole Miss. We have a very good chance to bounce back from two losses with two decent wins before we host Tennessee-Martin, which is pretty much our only guaranteed win from here on out. But if there was ever a time to turn this season around, that time is right now.

The most frustrating thing about this season so far is seeing so little of our playmakers. Let’s be honest here, who are the most dangerous offensive players on our team? If you ask me they are 1) Tristan Davis 2) Mario Fannin 3) Robert Dunn 4) Kaybles. Any of these players can find daylight and then make it rain. Nagging injuries have kept the first three off the field for most of the season. Our best plays of the season have been Davis or Dunn special teams plays and Kaybles to Fannin bullets. Speaking of which, I wonder if Mario Fannin could in fact catch a bullet? Similarly, could Kaybles actually throw a bullet as fast as a gun? While we’re at it, who would win in a fight, Josh Bynes (Tray Blackmon’s backup… though he’s just as evil and twisted as Blackmon) or ManBearPig (A half man, half bear, half pig, whose threat was brought to the public by Al Gore)? Or is Bynes in fact, ACTUALLY ManBearPig? The answer to these questions and more await you this Thursday, when Tuberville offers the Mountaineers as sacrifice to those who doubt him.


Those of you who doubt Tubs are ridiculous. The guy is a butcher who uses Heisman hopefuls as meat. Do you really think it is any coincidence that Auburn has plowed through defensive coordinators the same way that I plow through Grande Meals at Taco Bell (I… can’t… stop… eating!) and still have top 10 defense at the end of every season? Yes, Muschamp and Gibbs were great and Rhoads is doing a fine job, but who do you REALLY think is the wizard behind the curtain? If we drive Tubs away, we lose our defense, then we’d start whining about losing to Vanderbilt by three touchdowns. Give him time to switch offenses like you asked him to so we can start beating the crap out of teams on both sides of the ball. Sorry, I can’t stop lecturing!

Here’s the reasons why Auburn will win on Thursday:
1) West Virginia’s passing offense is even worse than Auburn’s. And you guys thought we had it bad. Auburn’s 105th (out of 119, mind you) ranked passing offense laughs at the petty antics of West Virginia’s 112th ranked squad. Bwaaahahahahahaa!
2) I expect Kaybles to play the entire game. He’ll make a few bad choices and he’ll throw a pick or two. He’ll also make twice as many plays that will make you wonder why he wasn’t starting the entire season. He’s still a little ripe, don’t treat him like he’s been starting all season, he’s hardly had a chance to show what he can do when given the reins. Treat this like the first game of the season for Kaybles, overall he’ll be impressive. Next year, he will be dangerous.
3) Auburn is an SEC team. C’mon, Auburn is playing pretty ugly… in the SEC. That’s still light years ahead of any Big East garbage that WVU throws our way. This is our chance to be SEC elitists and say that a team that looks terrible in the SEC can still open it up against anyone from the “Lesser” Conferences. I LOVE being an SEC Elitist. My best friend up here in Wisconsin is a Florida Alum, we get along just fine, as long as we agree that everyone else sucks.
4) Auburn’s defense seeks redemption. I don’t hear the Defense blaming the offense for keeping them on the field and therefore giving up more yards last week (even though I kind of do…), they are out for blood. We have enough talent coming off the bench on defense to make a defensive statement while a majority of our defensive starters recover from collisions past.

In the epic words of Clubber Lang from Rocky III, “My prediction: PAIN.” I anxiously await the turnaround of this season and this is the week it happens. Auburn looks far from perfect, but MUCH better in a 31-13 win over the Mountaineers of West Virginia.

War Eagle!

E-mail Ryan at ryan@theauburner.com

Tickets: Two choices - Ticket City or Ticket Yard.