Conspiracy Theory
11-6-07
by: Ryan

I developed a little theorem after watching some of the Bama vs. Tennessee game. It seemed every time Bama turned the ball over or Tennessee made a big play, there was a flag thrown in Bama’s favor, resulting in further prolongation of Bammer hope (aka The Darkness). After watching the LSU game, I obnoxiously pointed out my theorem that Bama gets away with murder about 10 times a game while their opponents mysteriously get called for everything.

I started counting the number of “breaks” each team got and after about 10 minutes the score was 5-1 Alabama (the one break for LSU was that they didn’t call a reviewed incomplete pass for Alabama complete!) I was asked to leave so I behaved from then on. I’m not suggesting Bama is paying the refs or anything, because that is just ridiculous. It seems every team curiously falls apart mentally against Bama and gives Bama more shots at winning than most teams get to. They’re just luckier than most teams. I HAVE PROOF!

How do these facts strike you?

1) Bama has had less penalty yards than their opponent every game this year


2) Only one team that Bama has played has had fewer penalty yards than their average per game (Ole Miss tied their season average, and Florida State actually got less than their high average… having trouble winning without the ref’s help Bama?)

Here are some more delicious stats:
Alabama’s opponent’s penalties per game: 54.63 yards
Alabama’s opponent’s penalties against Alabama (avg): 73.11 yards
Auburn’s opponent’s penalties per game: 57.4 yards
Auburn’s opponent’s penalties against Auburn (avg): 55.38 yards
LSU’s average penalties per game: 69.33 yards
LSU’s penalties against Alabama: 130 yards
LSU’s penalties against Auburn: 20 yards

I’m trying to come up with a reason for this happening besides coincidence or Bama paying the refs, because they both seem highly unlikely. You can give Alabama credit for great discipline and having probably the lowest penalties per game in the SEC (I think), but discipline doesn’t explain the hike in penalty yards that teams receive when playing Bama. Here’s my theory (Please feel free to send in your theories!):

SEC refs love rednecks and they aim to look out for their brethren. Did you know that the confederate flag used to just be a big red flag with an “A” on it? The Braves sued Alabama for stealing their logo and then the confederates switched to the better known red and blue confederate flag. Rednecks are a dying breed and Alabama Football is the antidote that keeps them alive. Referees are pretty much police officers who don’t want to deal directly with rednecks (Cops anyone?), and therefore the only thing keeping their professional brethren alive are rednecks. That’s why, even without the consent of the University of Alabama nor Tricky Nick Saban, the refs have helped out the Tide in helping the south Rise AGAIN! Prove me wrong.

War Eagle!
E-mail Ryan at Ryan@theauburner.com

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