Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: California vs. Air Force
The only thing going for the Pac-10 is that most of the media forces are located on the west coast, but there is even less going for Air Force in this game. So maybe California is from the Pac-10 and therefore by my prejudiced and biased conclusion they don’t play defense, but Air Force simply does not have the credentials to warrant my confidence in their ability to prevent or match a high powered offense such as Cal’s. California has two impressive wins against Oregon (against the would-be Heisman winner Dennis Dixon before his injury) and Tennessee. Air Force’s has proven wins against uhhh… well… uhhh… Notre Dame? California shows why independents shouldn’t exist in a 43-10 route.

Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl: Georgia Tech vs. Fresno State
Georgia Tech over the past several years has done its fair share of catching Auburn off guard and feeding them some humble pie. Fresno State on the other hand, has an incredibly hilariously looking coach (my favorite coach in the entire NCAA): Pat Hill. Why would I NOT root for a guy who sports a handle-bar mustache every day of every year? I only have the tenacity to sport humorous facial hair once or twice a year. Pat Hill calls me a pansy and then punches me in the face with his super-sweet-stache. Like Georgia Tech stands a chance. Pat Hill laughs in the face of his smooth-faced opposition as the bulldogs go on to win 14-0.

Brut Sun Bowl: South Florida vs. Oregon
Another classic battle to determine which conference I loathe more: the Pac-10 or the Big East. South Florida caught us during a transitional period this season (sounds like an excuse to me… why would I point that out?) and upset Auburn earlier this season, which I have from day one declared as the low point this season (even lower than the Mississippi State loss). Oregon on the other hand has been stellar this season until they lost their Heisman candidate Dennis Dixon (Quarterback) which is when they became as worthless as any other Pac-10 team. South Florida, even though they’ve been overrated all season, even when they aren’t even rated (in my incredibly biased and disrespectful book), still has enough fire power to overcome the depressing Oregon team. USF makes Auburn feel less terrible in a close 33-28 win over Oregon, in which the media stops declaring bowl games as a test for conference strength in an attempt to save face.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl: Kentucky vs. Florida State
Since Auburn has spent their fair share of bowls at “Music City,” I still have no qualms declaring how hilarious this bowl name sounds. Gaylord… hehehehe. Anyways, Florida State continues to take the bias out of my claims that Miami and Florida State are the two thuggiest schools in the nation with 36 players ineligible for the bowl game. How is that even possible? I would assume that coach Bobby Bowden asked each player on his team to try and fail each class and get arrested in order to diminish the already poor name of Florida State football. Kentucky will roll over FSU and extend the SEC’s undefeated bowl streak to 3-0. Andre Woodsen looks like a stud in a 20-10 win for Kentucky.

Insight Bowl: Indiana vs. Oklahoma State
At some point during this bowl game, each person watching will ask him/herself: “why am I watching this?” and then switch channels to the Music City or the Peach Bowl (Chick-Fil-A is delicious, but not delicious enough to change the name of the Peach Bowl). At this point in viewing this miserable bowl game, the viewer will achieve genuine ‘insight,’ and become a stronger person for it. Why should I give a prediction for a game that no one should watch or care about? Indiana is 8th in the Big Ten and Oklahoma State is 8th in the Big 12. What incentive do I have to decide which conference’s bottom feeder is better? None. This Bowl insults me. However, Indiana pulls a very impressive and clever 21-point comeback to win 33-30.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl: Clemson vs. Auburn
This deserves its own article. Check the Peach Bowl Preview to see how awesome Auburn will be against a worthy Clemson football team.

Outback Bowl: Wisconsin vs. Tennessee
I hate Tennessee. I hate everything about Tennessee. Despite all the obnoxious fans and the Satanic coach, even the spelling of the state has found a way to infuriate me. However, they are part of the SEC and I will be forced to root for them for the second time this year (I didn’t want Saban having any success going to his head, look how THAT turned out). Wisconsin’s highlight of the season was beating a Michigan team completely bent on making a point to show that they are worthless this season. Tennessee’s highlight of this season was their flaming sacrifice to the underworld as they borrowed the powers of Satan to bestow unto them another undeserving SEC West championship, despite being the third best team in the division. But enough with my transparent hatred toward Tennessee, let’s talk about how they will do against Wisconsin: pretty well. Eric Ainge will succumb to his gag reflex and throw up the game instead of choking to his uni-browed heart’s desire. I, however, will gag as Phillip Fulmer takes credit for another undeserving win as Wisconsin blows the game 26-20.

Cotton Bowl: Missouri vs. Arkansas
This is the kind of game that can do nothing but make the SEC look good. Only a couple of weeks ago Missouri was in line to waltz into the national championship before losing the Big 12 Championship to Oklahoma. Arkansas on the other hand has had another mediocre (according to some, they had a better season than we did! We didn’t beat LSU!) season worthy of firing head coach Houston Nutt. This game pits the #2 Big 12 team against the #6 SEC team. Every other top 10 team in the BCS is playing a team ranked in the top 13… except Missouri who was handed an unranked Arkansas. You would think that the Big 12 would be strong enough to place a lower seeded team to face the unfortunate Razorbacks, however it still won’t be enough. Missouri hasn’t faced a backfield that can match Arkansas’ McFadden and Jones. They don’t need Houston Nutt to tell Mustain to pitch the ball to either of those two all game. This will be a short game because there will not be many incomplete passes or runs out of bounds. Arkansas does the SEC proud and pulls a major ‘upset’ 17-13.

Capital one Bowl: Florida vs. Michigan
Michigan is coming off a two game losing streak to end the season, along with saying farewell to kissing their head coach Lloyd Carr goodbye while welcoming new coach Rich Rodriguez, whose first order of business was to fire the entire coaching staff. Florida goes into this game on a four game winning streak and Tim Tebow just won the Heisman. Amidst all of the chaos at Michigan right now, I doubt they’ll hardly even realize how much that Florida is spanking them. My prediction: Tebow cries again regardless of the outcome… which will be a 33-9 win for the Gators.

Gator Bowl: Texas Tech vs. Virginia
The game is designed specifically for a Texas Tech win. Virginia is weak against the pass and strong against the run; Texas Tech is LAST in the nation in running offense (61 ypg) and FIRST in the nation in passing offense (475 ypg). Talk about one-dimensional. There will be more than 80 points scored in this game, and over 50 of them will go to the Red Raiders. The deep pass gets TT a 54-33 win.

Rose Bowl: USC vs. Illinois
Poor, poor Illinois. Congrats to Ron Zook for what he’s done with the team and everything, and USC doesn’t really deserve to be in the Rose Bowl at all this year, but this is going to be ugly. Illinois won’t be able to keep up with any aspect of the Trojan football team and USC will display complete domination over the Fighting Illini. Despite being given a lopsided matchup in favor of USC, this win will launch then into a preseason #1 ranking next season. The score after the first half will be 32-3 USC, and no one will watch the rest of the game, including Ron Zook who will leave early to beat the traffic.

Sugar Bowl: Georgia vs. Hawaii
I would pick Georgia to beat Ohio State in the National Championship, however they’ve been handed the perfect opportunity to ruin their season by underestimating a high-powered Hawaii team. If you do recall, a season or two ago an ‘underappreciated’ Boise State team made the trip to play with the big dogs and show what they are made of against Georgia. What happened? Georgia ran up the score 48-13. This is not the right team to try to catch off guard if you are looking to catch a BCS team off guard. The Bulldogs will completely devour Hawaii and will show no remorse for ruining the dreams of many Rainbow Warriors on New Years. Georgia doesn’t even bother to make it interesting as they win 41-7.

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs. West Virginia
There is no way West Virginia will be able to play as well as they are capable in this game. With Rich Rod leaving them coachless, and also leaving them with a lawsuit, West Virginia seems on the verge of implosion. The coach they are interviewing right now, Central Michigan coach Butch Jones, is on the verge of becoming a major college football head coach and will do fine with West Virginia should he take the job… but that won’t be until next year. Oklahoma is playing some of the best football in the nation right now and West Virginia doesn’t seem they would have enough focus to put up much of a fight in what would otherwise be a great game. Oklahoma wins convincingly 24-14.

Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. Kansas
The Hokies have one of the best defenses in the nation while Kansas has one of the best offenses. I don’t think I even know what either a Jayhawk or a Hokie is… I can’t think of any jokes. Sorry. Virginia Tech’s defense wins with a big stop late in the game, VT wins 24-21.

International Bowl: Ball State vs. Rutgers
Rutgers wins by a whopping score of Who-Cares to Who-Gives-a-Crap.

GMAC Bowl: Bowling Green vs. Tulsa
No matter who wins this game, insomniacs across the nation win as the dreariness caused by watching this game hits you harder than a tank of Nyquil laced with Codine. Enjoy the nap before one last real football game concludes the season:

BCS National Championship: LSU vs. Ohio State
Its going to be pretty sweet when a 2-loss SEC team runs the score up on Ohio State AGAIN to win the NC. I can’t stand Les Miles (did you know his middle name is ‘Bo?’), and I think this will be his last hurrah before he has to start working with players who can’t bail him out of every unnecessarily risky gamble he takes. Ohio State is only in the National Championship because Michigan is having a down year. LSU could be 8-4 right now if Jerraud Powers’ arm were two inches higher than it was in that final play against Auburn or if Florida had stopped ONE of the 5 fourth down conversions LSU needed to win. But you can’t win in the SEC without a little bit of luck, because the same can be said about each SEC champion for each year. However, LSU is not playing an SEC team next week, they are playing Ohio State who is 0-8 against SEC teams in Bowl Games. LSU wins 43-21.

War Eagle!