Unless championships are involved, college football is a zero sum game. The joy of a win by one team is equal to the pain of a loss to the other team. When LSU beats Mississippi State, Mississippi State is a little bummed out about the loss and LSU is a little happy. When Mississippi State beats Auburn, Mississippi State becomes ecstatic and Auburn becomes furious.

This is why we hear people talking about firing Tuberville. Even though he has won more games in the past four years than most any other coach in the country, fifteen losses would’ve stung just as bad as seven. The Alabama win in 2003 was more fun than the 2006 win simply because wins were harder to come by in 2003. The Arkansas loss hurt so much more last year than in 2002 because wins were so much more common in 06.

As a fan, it’s important to realize that our emotions have no impact to what happens on the field; therefore, to maximize your enjoyment of football, enjoy football wins and forget football losses. Otherwise being a fan won’t be worth it. Joy and pain would average to zero. When you lose in life, you have to reflect and face your problems, but when you’re a football fan, it’s best to realize you have no control over loses and forget about them. Stick with the team and enjoy the wins whenever they come. Let the players and coaches face the problems. It’s their life. It’s our hobby.

I’ve heard people say the following this week;

“If you let things that 18-22 year old kids do on a field determine your mood, then you are pathetic.”

I disagree. If you are a college football fan, then your mood is partially contingent on things 18-22 year old kids do on a football field. That’s a fact. You are lying to yourself if you think you’re the exception. Is this irrational? Yes. Is this wrong? No! It’s a hobby! Hobbies aren’t supposed to be rational! Stamp collecting, golf, model trains, fishing, building bird houses, wine tasting… all irrational, otherwise they wouldn’t be hobbies.

With hobbies, the goal is to maximize pleasure and minimize pain.

Finally, a note to the booing fans: You woke up early on a Saturday to watch Brandon Cox throw interceptions. You’re angry. It’s understandable. You boo him though? Why? Do you think the display of your disproval will motivate him to not throw into double coverage?

No.

Cox made you unhappy and you wanted to hurt him emotionally as payback.

Auburn football players no longer like you. If they magically turn into an awesome football team in the next couple of weeks, you’ll cheer - but you’ll be cheering for people who don’t like you. What’s the point?

Where’s the fun in that? If they don’t magically turn into an awesome football team, you’ll keep booing for no reason. It’s a no win situation for you. Even if Brandon has seen his last snap as a quarterback, he’ll get the last laugh, because he knows he’s better than all of us. After all, he’ll never wake up early to watch us suck.

WAR EAGLE!

E-mail Mark at mark@theauburner.com

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