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by Mark
11-17-05
A single tear from Stanley McClover could be used as a fuel source that would power the entire planet for eleven centuries. Unfortunately, he has never cried.
If you can see Stanley McClover, he can see you. If you can’t see Stanley McClover, you may be moments away from a painful sack- death if you’re lucky.
When he was seven years old, he was a world-famous piano player. A gang of quarterbacks killed his piano teacher minutes after he performed at Carnegie Hall. On that day, he vowed that his new mission in life was to destroy quarterbacks.
Stanley McClover is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right arms.
Stanley McClover once ran at a quarterback so fast that he traveled back in time and prevented the quarterback from being born.
The ocean is just Stanley McClover’s sweat. That’s how hard he works out.
He invented the internet.
Twelve bystanders went blind when they witnessed Marcus McNeill successfully block Stanley McClover one time.
A man once called Stanley McClover “Stan”. McClover didn’t respond, he just stared at the guy until his head exploded.
The chief export of Stanley McClover is pain.
Those aren’t
caps on his teeth. He naturally has golden teeth- remember, Au is gold on
the periodic table. McClover made it that way when he invented the periodic
table
Some of you might claim I stole a lot of these facts
from the 'Chuck Norris' e-mail floating around the internet, but I assure
you, this isn't true. Every one of these facts about Stanley McClover is 100%
true.
Mark can be contacted at mark@theauburner.com
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