|
by Mark
9-20-06
The following is a list of my top 10 college football heroes.
 |
Brodie Croyle: You can make fun of his mullet all you want, but Brodie Croyle is more of a man than any of us will ever be. Think about it. This guy was sacked, in front of millions of people, by various combinations of these people; Quentin Groves, Stanley McClover, Marquis Gunn, Wayne Dickens, Antarrious Williams, Tommy Jackson and Travis Williams… and he didn’t cry or explode on impact. He got up every single time and kept trying his best despite hopeless, desperate, bone-crushing odds. That demands respect. |
 |
Brandon Cox and Jason Campbell: They’re the anti Tom Brady fantastic quarterbacks who don’t adhere to the pretty-boy sports hero stereotypes- without being Dennis Rodman type jerks. Low-key and awesome, they’re just how quarterbacks should be. It’s the 21st century, and Jason Campbell is the only quarterback in college or the NFL to rock the mustache – that’s very admirable. |
 |
Bobby
Lowder: Ok, ok. So he might be evil, and he
sorta almost made Auburn lose accredidation, and he kinda
lead a coup against Tuberville… and we’ll never forget the
time he blocked
Auburn’s sun. But he’s done plenty for Auburn. He donates millions of dollars to academics. Also, think about it, if you were ridiculously rich (you’re the owner of a bank) and had a ridiculously boring job (you’re the owner of a bank), who of us WOULDN’T try to buy and control Auburn’s football team? Don’t hate him because he’s living out our dream. |
 |
Hayden Fox: He took the reigns of a struggling football program and carried them to a national championship in just a few seasons. I really liked watching “Coach” as a kid. I remember being mad when they took it off the air in 1996. The next year, Auburn hires Tommy Tuberville… who basically IS Coach Hayden Fox. By the way, I think offensive coordinator Luther Van Dam and Lou Holtz are the same person, which is the reason I like Holtz (sorry Tommy and Kenny). Now coaching the Orlando Breakers, I hope Coach Fox picks David Irons in the first round of the 2007 Draft. |
 |
Ronnie/Carnell: People who get angry at guys like Stanley McClover for leaving early for the NFL are full of smoke. I’m all for school spirit, but the #1 reason why anybody should go to college is to help your professional career. If you feel like you can excel in the NFL and don’t want to take the risk of getting hurt, there’s nothing wrong with taking the sure $250,000 a year contract a year early. However, Carnell Williams and Ronnie Brown took a great risk which paid off big time when they both came back against plenty of pressure from outside sources. Very admirable. |
 |
Terry Bowden: His Auburn reputation is somewhat diminished these days, but Terry Bowden is the reason I became an Auburn fan. He showed elementary school and middle school aged Mark that a short, stocky, uncoordinated goofball can successfully involve himself with football (being a Bowden didn’t hurt). Seeing him jump up and down screaming in post game locker room celebrations seemed pretty cool at the time. War eagle Terry, sorry you got such a sour deal later on. |
 |
Tommy Tuberville: Tommy Tuberville is the Bill Clinton of college football, minus the interns – that’s Dubois. Clinton and Tuberville are the only two people I’ve ever heard of who came within an inch of being fired and instantly gained huge spikes in approval afterwards. Granted, a Clinton makes for an embarrassing president, but a lot of his personality makes for a perfect football coach. Tuberville, like Clinton, has completely mastered the ability of doing something small that completely ticks off the opposition, making the opposition look dumb in the process. How stupid did he make Alabama fans look when they complain about him holding up four fingers? How stupid did LSU fans look when they complained about the cigar (Americans had a right to be mad at Clinton’s cigar episode). In what I believe to be Tuberville’s most masterful move, he held a parade at the end of the 2004 season - the Bama nation exploded with outrage because we threw a “championship parade” without being officially declared national champions. Classic. By the way, Finebaum was the first to come up with the Clinton/Tuberville connection. |
 |
Al Borges: Historians will ultimately decide that Al Borges’ professional life was one of the greatest wastes of talent of all time. What if Borges became a doctor? How many diseases would he have cured by now? If he decided to be a statesman, just imagine how many fewer wars would exist. A scientist? We already know he developed a perpetual motion machine, but Auburn’s board of trustees forced him to destroy it (those jerks!). If he were a general, we’d already be out of Iraq – his Gulf Coast Offense would smash Al-Qaeda all over the world. Instead, history will just write about how he was the genius behind Auburn’s reign of national championships which spanned from 2006-2042. |
E-mail mark at
mark@theauburner.com
