Facebook Review Part I
3 -13-05
By: Mark

It’s gotten to the point now where if you’re in college, you know about thefacebook.com. The creator of this website has a ridiculous amount of power over probably hundreds of thousands or maybe millions of college students. I’ve never seen a fad embraced by so many different people.

Cool people and nerdy people, they’re all on thefacebook.com. Every "Breakfast Club" type, they all are under the power. Even the preppiest snob republicans to the smelliest hippie democrats; they all have their profiles on thefacebook.com and they’ve all wasted hours and hours to looking at profiles and groups.

Even most football players are on this thing. Doesn’t Courtney Taylor realize that he’s too good for thefacebook??? I’m pretty sure the original concept for thefacebook was to have an internet database set up where loser electrical engineer majors, such as myself, could sign up for, have other loser engineers accept to be my friends, thus giving myself a false sense of popularity.

I’ve sent a few football players invitations to join the theauburner.com group on thefacebook, and they’ve all accepted, and a few more have joined on their own! It’s almost as if they’re normal people with flaws like the rest of us. Crazy thought.

By knowing this you might think that thefacebook website is the beginning to a perfect utopian society where everyone comes together and puts aside their differences aside towards a common goal. It’s not. Too much stupidity is contained within the walls.

Here’s an example:

There’s a “Dance like David Sucks” group.

Most of you know about the website dancelikedavid.com. The concept is basically this nerdy guy, David, along with his friends, make really stupid dance movies that are meant to be funny, nothing more.

Anyways… some random guys have come up with a facebook group called “Dance like David Sucks.” I suppose that’s fair enough. I mean, everyone’s entitled to their opinions, maybe the founders had some friends that were constantly talking about it. But if you look at the group’s page closer, these guy’s have some oddly strong convictions in their dislike of a simple website. Here’s their group summary from their page.

“This group is for anyone that thinks that Dance Like David is stupid and intolerable. If you have ever seen this it will remind you of high school like you wouldn't believe. The sad thing is that this guy is a student at Auburn University. What a sad and immature representation of the Auburn Family. Check this idiot out at www.dancelikedavid.com.”

"It has come to my attention that people are getting offended by this group. In order to pacify these people, the Dance Like David Sucks Group would like to apologize to all of those offended by this group. If you are so narrow minded that you think only YOUR opinion matters then you have issues that we cannot help you with and you need to seek professional help."

But what’s really hilarious is how serious they take their hatred in their message boards. Some quotes from their message board:

“There's a reason it's called an inside joke. KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES. This is not something you broadcast to the public. I'd rather not have people know that something like this came out of Auburn University”
“By starting this group I am not intending to offend anyone, I'm just trying to knock them off their throne. It had come to my attention that the Dance Like David members thought that their videos were funny and that they deserved recognition nationally from people like Jay Leno. No offense, but this site and its members do not deserve any recognition farther than its circle of friends.”

And my favorite….

"His roomates are probably as strange as he is. They ride the transit but they won't come to the stop. They stand inside and look out the window until the bus comes by then they run out and catch it on the way back. They are very antisocial. They act like it would kill them to stand at the stop with everyone else.”

These guys are obviously obsessed with David and friends and have created this group out of very much frustration. They’re treating the dumb website like it’s some sort of crazy religion that’s constantly asking for donations at the airport when it’s nothing more than a little joke.

They started a group to “knock him off his throne”. What throne? It’s a joke! Going to Jay Leno? That’s obviously a joke itself!

I admit, I am a little jealous. Why couldn’t they make a “theauburner.com SUCKS” group? I really wish these guys would notice that there’s nothing below the surface of www.dancelikedavid.com other than a joke, so there’s nothing really to start your own group over….

Theauburner.com is MUCH more deserving. There are some really pathetic writers on theauburner.com that dedicate far too much time to the website. The group claims that Dance Like David degrades the name of Auburn University, however to my knowledge, Auburn’s not even mentioned on their website. TheAuburner.com does nothing BUT talk about Auburn.... and we do a terrible job at what we do, and we don’t even mean it! We don’t do the great University any justice by any means; we should be called out on this!

Oh well, there are some good things about thefacebook which I will discuss later, this article is far too long already. But yeah... a article about the good things about the facebook may end up being the shortest article ever.

War Eagle!

Mark can be contacted at mark@theauburner.com