The Schedule

Rationally speaking, the schedule is horrible. Luckily, we can easily manipulate numbers to make this look like a good thing. Auburn has lost ONE away game in the past three years – 2005 LSU. If it weren’t for the Coriolis effect screwing with Vaughn’s kicking, you’d have to go back to 2003 when Auburn lost an away game*. I can’t even remember the last loss before that one. The internet tells me it was the 2003 Georgia game, but can the internet really be trusted?

Runningbacks

Since 2000, there has been no point in worrying about who the Auburn running back is. It’s not really about the name of the player anymore because whoever Eddie Gran throws out there is going to be awesome. Technically, Brad Lester was Auburn’s starter in 2005 when he went down with an injury against Arkansas. So in 2007, Auburn has to ‘settle’ with the old starter. Here’s a rule of thumb; as long as Eddie Gran is Auburn’s running back coach, and the starting running back’s name doesn’t rhyme with Fray Fmith, everything is ok. Auburn fans are forever indebted to Eddie Gran’s sports agent and Al Borges’ sports agent. I have no idea who their agents are, but they must be the most incompetent people in the world. Gran and Borges have both publicly made it clear that they want to be head coaches. Why they’re still assistants at Auburn (while Bobby Petrino is making 5 million a year) is a mystery to me, but I am very grateful for it. I have a feeling their agents are probably loser relatives. God bless them.

Help keep Sugar from Gran...

Quarterbacks

Would you like to hear my impression of you?

“Blah, blah, blah, Kodi Burns, blah, blah, blah, Kodi Burns.”

After a disappointing 2003 season, Auburn fans were all but ready to see what Mr. Football 2002, Brandon Cox, could do on the field. Nobody saw Jason Campbell’s transformation coming. In fact, Auburn’s student section started cheering “Brandon, Brandon….” after Campbell threw an early interception in 2004’s first game. Lesson learned? We don’t know what we’re talking about. Tuberville and Borges say Cox will be awesome this year. I have no reason to believe otherwise. Remember, Auburn is the only SEC team with an experienced senior quarterback (isn’t he 34?).

The guy has been overlooked by every preseason honor imaginable. He was awesome in 2005 and injured horribly last year after the LSU game. The guy was suffering from bruised legs, bruised ribs, some sort of freakin’ muscular disease acting up, and he STILL led Auburn to an 11-2 season. My work production is cut by 30% when I get a hangnail. Extrapolate that to his injuries. A healthy Cox should pass for about 34,000 yards.

Burns will be awesome, but this is Cox's year to rock.

Here’s another quarterback prediction; you’re going to try to come up with some joke this season using the words “Cox” and “Burns”, but no matter how hard you try - it just won’t work out.

Injuries

Nothing good can be said of injuries. I’m incredibly bummed about not seeing anymore of Gandy on the field. Tristan Davis is out for over a month with an injured toe. That’s really bad considering he was Auburn’s top kickoff guy. On the bright side, he’ll be well rested and ready to dominate the teams later in the schedule. Alabama should fear the toe.

Kicking

I remember hearing about this problem before the 2004 season. Auburn’s kicking game was too young they’d say. Luckily, Al Borges had a brilliant idea to combat this problem; Score touchdowns instead of field goals. Sheer brilliance.


Email Mark at mark@theauburner.com