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When Auburn plays creampuff teams like UL Monroe, LA Tech or UA Tuscaloosa the score can get out of hand pretty quickly. When this happens, it becomes harder for TV viewers to be entertained since the outcome of the game is certain. To remedy this, the TV commentators try to liven things up by discussing other football related things; like past interesting games or interesting stories involving the football team. Listen to any baseball game commentary, even the World Series, and you’re going to hear repetitive stories about the eight interesting things that have happened throughout baseball’s entire history- and remember, there have probably been thirty times* the amount of baseball games played than football games- and still, their best stories have to do with goats and people who’ve been dead longer than The Bear.
The Biscuits game was a double header. Double headers prove the wussiness of baseball. Last year, a Division III college football team played TWO football games in the same day and it made national news. A Division III team! I honestly didn’t know a Division III existed until I heard this story. Though their games are inconsequential, the fact a team played two games of football in one day was such a big deal, it made national news. Seeing how baseball can regularly hold double headers without people dying shows it’s not really a sport.
I don’t know much about baseball stats. The only one I know of is the batting average, which in itself shows how boring the game really is. In baseball, you’re really good if you have a .300 batting average. In baseball, you’re really good if something interesting happens 30% of the times the guy goes to bat. When I say interesting, what I mean is, 90% of the time, the guy randomly hits the ball between defensive players and gets to run to first base.
In baseball, there’s one designated hitter, a designated pitcher, and a bunch of designated guys to stand around chewing tobacco (It’s not a sport if you’re bored enough to chew tobacco while playing). At any given instant, the greatest number of people actually ‘doing’ something on the playing field is two. It only takes one person to score. Football is more about teamwork. In football, everyone’s a designated something and in order for the play to work, everyone has to do exactly what they’re supposed to do…. that’s much more exciting to watch.
Nobody will argue this point. Football players are far more passionate about winning a given game than baseball players. This is forgivable for baseball players since they play 161 games a season while football players will play about a dozen. A dozen games a year is a good number because it allows even average fans to watch most games at least on TV. Interestingly enough, even though football players are more passionate about a game, they are far less whiney. I’ve seen baseball players get so mad at certain calls, they’d actually shove an official out of anger. If Quentin Groves were to shove a ref out of anger, he’d be arrested for man slaughter.
I’m not a fan of the NFL either. The only reason I tune in every now and then is to see how former Auburn players are doing. It’s fun to see Auburn graduates succeed. Did you know that the average 2004 Sociology graduate from Auburn makes $250,000* a year? Ronnie Brown probably boosted the average a bit. Using this logic, Criminology and Sociology dropouts probably make pretty good money as well.
I’m not exactly sure what the purpose of a mascot should be on ANY team. Should mascots be funny and silly for the sake of the young kids and to show it’s just a game? Or should they be vicious animals or forces of nature that can be comparable to the team? I think naming a team ‘The Biscuits’ is a good idea, so I think the first one is correct. However, I think the latter can be the former. Tigers and ‘war’ eagles are quite vicious, but I doubt Brandon Cox hypes himself up by saying “I’m a tiger! Time to pounce my prey! Grrrrr!” It’s all in good fun.
Side note: As much as Auburn fans try to deny it, the ‘war eagle’ is a second mascot. It’s a cool mascot too… It’s nothing to be ashamed of so stop freaking out when you hear someone from ESPN mention us as War Eagles.
The baseball game was fun since the weather was nice and I got to hang out with my buddies for a while… but baseball is still boring. To each his own I suppose. I’m giving the baseball fad another 30 years before it joins the likes of the XFL. War Eagle.
Final note….why does Montgomery’s minor league baseball team have a nicer Jumbotron than Auburn’s football team?
*numbers pulled from air
E-mail mark at
mark@theauburner.com
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