Style and Class
One of my favorite traditions as an Auburn Woman is to get dressed up for the football games. When Saturday comes, I bake my favorite cookies, put on a nice sun dress and my pearl earrings, and head on over to the stadium to reserve my place in line with friends. On the way to the stadium I pass countless tailgaters who have traveled from miles away to grill out, visit with like-minded Auburn fans, and bask in the shadow of Jordan-Hare stadium. Even before our arrival at ‘Guy-something stadium’ in Gainesville, I immediately noticed a difference. First, there were no tailgaters. Only a few scattered here and there. The smell of grilling meat was nowhere to be found. What a travesty. On top of that, there were several hundred Gators who ran down the street Friday night – not in sundresses, jerseys, or bright orange pants – but in their underwear. At first I thought it might be fun to make this a new Auburn tradition. Then I changed my mind. And I won’t even get started on the random shirtless Gator fan in the Auburn cheering section. Auburn has classier fans and wins this one hands down for a score of 1-0.

Coaches
Auburn is blessed with wonderful coaches. First, there is Tommy Tuberville, who has done wonders in uniting the Auburn team and making them a family. We have higher graduation rates than ever before, and the players have been known to even lock arms during nerve-racking plays. But Tommy has a darker side. Auburn hath no fury like a head coach scorned. If you are a ref and make a crappy call at a crucial point in the game, you will experience the wrath of Tubs [see Ryan’s article]. +600 for Auburn in having a head coach that isn’t afraid to yell. Better yet are Al Borges and Will Muschamp. These two go together like peanut butter and jelly. Al’s genius offensive play-calling and Muschamp’s crazy antics and dancing on the sideline are enough to make anyone smile or cry. +527 for Auburn. Florida on the other hand has ‘Urban Crier’. Of course I can’t blame him for tearing up a little after what happened. ‘Nuff said. Auburn wins this one +1127 to -725.

Pre-game festivities
“For all you fans outside the stadium, pre-game festivities will start in approximately 40 minutes.” That phrase still has the power to send a tingle up my spine after 5 football seasons [nothing wrong with graduating in 4.5 years!]. Auburn’s pre-game show consists of endangered species circling the field, 3 drum majors twirling big sticks and throwing them like we own the place [I guess we technically do own the place…] and fans yelling and cheering like crazy. And I don’t even have to mention that video. +100 for Auburn. The first thing I noticed at the game Saturday is that no Gator fans really even got that excited about the pre-game show [-14]. Of course maybe that’s because their mic-man was about 78 years old [-8] and their band made the shape of the state of Florida [at least that’s what I THINK it was] on the field [-89]. On the other hand I do give them credit for adding a really big ex-football player to their Hall of Fame. He cried on the field when accepting the award. I just really like it when big guys get credit [+27]. Auburn wins again +100 to – 84.

Quarterbacks
Not only does Tim Tebow have a [supposedly] great arm and is a good rusher, according to ESPN, when Tim Tebow isn’t helping little ladies cross the street, or reading to the blind, he is doing mission work in the Philippines. At least Florida has one thing to be proud of [+41]. Now – don’t get me wrong – I love Brandon Cox. I am extremely jealous of my friend Meredith who somehow managed to give B-Cox a ‘good game’ at Tiger Walk. He’s good under pressure [The Swamp at night, hello?], he’s experienced, plays contact sports in spite of a debilitating disease, and has a butt you could bounce a quarter off of. However I am a bit concerned that one of the main reasons [at the Auburner anyway] we like Brandon Cox is his robot-like lack of emotions and his apparent lack of a soul. 40 for Auburn. Florida wins this one [I cringe] 41-40.

By the way, I wont even get into how our freshman kicker hit two field goals during the last 3 seconds to win the game [in my mind at least], that’s right … twice.

Well, you can count for yourself. Auburn wins this contest hands-down. It’s great to be home. War Eagle!

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